i am terrible with keeping up with anything.
sometimes it’s as simple as my keys, usually it’s important like my finances, on occasion it’s funny…after the fact of course, when you’re in the process of trying to find something all seems hopeless but once you find it in the most unconventional of places you can’t help but chuckle at your absentmindedness.
today was hard. i’m not quite sure why, but it was. it weighed heavy on me in the early morning when i drudged into work at 3:45. normally i’m happy, which is odd for anyone who has work at 3:45 in the morning, but i digress. today was hard.
my body doesn’t feel right. it never does these days. it’s like there’s something inside me crawling to get out and since i’m sure it isn’t that kind of something, i’m a bit more anxious to figure out what it is. i don’t feel comfortable in my skin. i want to rip it off from certain places, re-canvas the whole thing.
there are days when i want to redo everything. today wasn’t one of them, but i’m sure there was a day in recent history that made me shudder. maybe it was earlier this week when i did nothing all day when i should have been productive.
it’s just that being productive has lost it’s luster…and that’s scary.
i need a drink.
