an odd pain.
I’m asking for God to help me right now…and He is.
It’s weird when the person that you feel had a large part in your undoing is doing so well right in front of your face. The feeling, it’s a combination of anger, resentment, sadness—but at the same time, because of our history, I’m happy for her. I know that my happiness for her has nothing to do with me…because the me that I know, she’s rude, mean, harsh, and not as forgiving as some people would make me out to be.
Part of me wants to cry because I want things to happen for me.
I want so many things that she has…her joy, her peace, her calm, her love.
But I know the source from which it came…as well as the work that it took to get to where she is.
But it doesn’t make it hurt less.
I am happy for her though.
There’s more happiness than hurt.
And I think that’s a big deal.
